I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack.
-- Demetri Martin
When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
-- George Burns
Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.
-- Dick Van Dyke
You don't know a women till you've met her in court.
-- Norman Mailer
My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference.
-- Harry S. Truman (circa 1962)
Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.
-- Ronald Reagan
Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
-- Dale Carnegie
Email to a friend Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or failure has been dependent on the one he used most.
-- George R. Kirkpatrick
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
-- Rita Rudner
I always wait for the Times each morning. I look at the obituary column and if I’m not in it, I go to work.
-- A. E. Matthews (quoted in Filmgoer's Book of Quotes, 1973)
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
-- Lily Tomlin
My experience has taught me that a man who has no vices has damned few virtues.
-- Abraham Lincoln
A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.
-- Jerry Seinfield
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
-- Somerset Maugham
Till Next Time
See Ya :)
gmr 2009
